*DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A SATIRE ARTICLE*
As the school year winds down, seniors are getting ready to move onto their next step in the journey of life, and thus, have some advice to share with the underclassmen to better prepare themselves for the rest of their time at JMM. Here’s some advice:
- Procrastination isn’t bad. Think about all those things you could be doing instead of your math homework. Now, instead of thinking about those things, actually go do them. Trust me, you’ll feel good.
- It’s okay to skip class every so often. Go get Chick Fil A or something. Especially if you have a test. It gives you an extra day to do study, and as a bonus, you’ll find out from friends what was on the test. (NOTE: I DO NOT ENDORSE CHEATING IN ANY WAY).
- Take as many study halls as possible. Heck, if you really want to phone it in, take like 6 study halls. Assuming you have the other credits to graduate, all you need to take is an English class.
- Throw your planner away, or don’t even buy one. They are literally useless. If you aren’t going to be doing work, then just toss it. Why know when things are due that you won’t even finish?
- Keep to yourself. Don’t think about joining that club. It just takes up valuable time you could use as your free time. Plus, are clubs even worth it?
Hopefully this advice will help you phone it in senior year, because that’s what we’re all doing anyway, right?
By Nic Braico