*DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A SATIRE ARTICLE*
Students! AP tests are fast approaching, even though they will be online and shortened this year. Nevertheless, there are some key tips you need to keep in mind in order to do well. Number one: DO NOT eat healthily at all the week before the tests. The science that says that healthy food jumpstarts the brain is all a myth. Rather, you should load up on junk food because it tastes good, and it is important to be happy before the test and not stressed out because of carrots and broccoli. Number two: stay up the day before each test until at least 3 or 4 a.m. It is necessary that your brain is really really tired and empty of oxygen and blood during the test so that there is enough room to soak up the information given during the test. My last tip is to NOT PLAN at all this month. Some people would say to start prepping now by looking at what tests are going to look like, setting up a nice quiet place at home to take the tests, reviewing old material and free-response questions, etcetera etcetera, but actually you should stop any studying you are doing right now and not care at all about studying, because after all, even if you fail, it’s only a couple hundred dollars you’re wasting.
By Amina Waheed