Satire

4th Law of Physics Disproven!

An amazing scientific development has come from the University of Maryland in the past week: one of the venerable laws of physics has been concretely disproven. In the early years of European science, Isaac Newton established many of his famous laws for how our world works that have governed modern scientific pursuits ever since. A famous example is his famous Third Law, which states that if an object exerts a force on another, the same force is exerted in return in the opposite direction. Professor Aldous Brinkheim, PhD and his team of physicists, astronomers, chemists, and geologists have organized a 3-year project with the intent of disproving one or more of Newton’s Laws. Using a matrix of destabilized Tanzanite crystals, raised to a high energy state by photon bombardment and high heat, Brinkheim coordinated the quantum state oscillations in a definable repeating pattern, similar to the time crystals created in the last year. Using a set of rapid quasars, guaranteed to not by affected by local disturbances in space-time, as a steady clock, the team pulsed magnetic fields in and out of coordination with the Earth’s. The resulting change in quantum speeds concretely and definably proves that Newton, once a revered visionary, has been shown to be incorrect in his, arguably most important to his career, 4th Law of Physics. With this major foundation of science shattered, this rug pulled out from the feet of modern engineering, many unexplained phenomena now fall into place. The role of entropic loss in energy transit now can be accommodated for, enabling upwards of 368% increases in power efficiency. The counteracting force principles that govern large-body motion in vehicles like cars and airplanes can now be re-looked at, opening the doors for simultaneous multi-directional travel and literal air brakes. In addition, the Nobel Prize committee has done an unprecedented recall of multiple Nobel prizes, saying that they were awarded based on truths that are no longer true. This major proof may be our first step into the great future.

– Cedric Blackmore

Categories: Satire

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