In December, we only got three episodes of SNL, which is to be expected because of the holidays. Luckily there were some gems in there that made the winter break just a little bit sweeter. Read on for this month’s picks:
A few weeks ago the electoral college had a big decision to make. This sketch was a peek into their lives during this tumultuous time.
Ding dong, better get your door. It’s Hillary. Time for a heart-to-heart. She wants to let you know (to the tune of “Silent Night”) what has been on her mind, and she’s doing it by flipping through an absurd amount of posters, a la Love Actually. She’ll reflect on the election for a bit, then give you some advice for the vote. She doesn’t even mind if you vote for her! “Just vote for literally anyone else. Like John Kasich, Tom Hanks, Zendaya, The Rock, a rock.” And if the $1,000 fine seems steep? Oh, she’s conveniently brought a $1,000 check with your name on it. Hint hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
PUTIN’S BEST FRIENDS FROM GROWING UP RETURN
I haven’t yet featured anything from the Weekend Update in this column, but this one deserves it, I think. In light of the recent hacking scandal, Putin’s childhood friends have arrived to clear his name. They love him, really, they do. But they do have a few things to say. They keep returning to a tiny whisper to gossip about Putin’s pettiness, forcing the viewer to strain to hear the dialogue, which makes the sketch even funnier. “So he has this holiday party and on the invite it says in bold letters, no gifts please. So we show up and he goes, arriving empty-handed, are we? And we go, you said no gifts.” Fred Armisen returns to the show to do this sketch with Vanessa Bayer. It’s one they’re famous for and this installment is a solid one. But I will say, it can be pretty…
THE CHRISTMAS CANDLE
This episode with Emma Stone is one of those you wish you could’ve sat in on the writing of. “The Christmas Candle” is a passionate 80s-style ballad about that one cheap candle that just keeps on getting regifted over and over and over… “This is the story of another more powerful Christmas savior,” Emma Stone begins with an intense gaze into the camera. She, Kate McKinnon, and Aidy Bryant all are hilarious in their long fur coats and tight curls. But Bryant shines with her over-the-top belting, especially as she gives her wise advice: “But here’s a warning, when you give a candle, that is all she needs. Don’t pair it with the lotion or some little cream. A lot of people think two gifts are better than one. But that just makes each gift seem smaller and dumb!” They got a choir to sing in this skit, you guys. This is a serious production for a $9 candle you find lying in your closet.
It is critical that, when grading, teachers treat each student equally and abstain from playing favorites. But that’s a little easier said than done when one of those students (John Cena) is the star of the football team, refuses to play unless he gets an A in science, and is dumb as a doornail. In that case, what is a teacher to do but level the playing field a little bit? While the other students are studying topics like “quantum entanglement impaired particles” and “ionization in the gas phase”, the athletic hero of the school gets… bananas. His presentation includes a wooden board with different types of bananas nailed to it. “Yellow, brown spotty, very brown, green, and orange.” The “orange banana” is literally an orange. Cena’s brilliant insights into the world of bananas are sure to inspire any weary student trudging towards finals week.
Do you agree with my picks for this month? What were your favorites? E-mail me at email@example.com or Facebook message me if you’d like your comments of January’s sketches to be included in the next installment of this series.
– Beatrice Naujalyte