Satire

Memorial’s Freshest Clubs

Memorial has a tradition for having a wide array of clubs which connect passionate people with other people of the same interests. However, there are certain organizations that remain unrepresented in our Memorial community. These new clubs will add diversity to Memorial’s “club scene”.

NJS (National Jaywalker Society): Claiming to have the same prestige as its sister organization, the National Honor Society, this club is dedicated to recognizing excellence in jaywalking. More ambitious goals include uniting jaywalkers in an alliance against traffic rules.

Model OPEC: Akin to Model UN, this club seeks to simulate the environment of cheating, manipulation and deceit seen in meetings of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC).

Person A: I work for an organization that is dysfunctional and full of crooks.

Person B: I bet you work for OPEC.

Yelling Club: A place where people with loud voices can congregate and scream at each other. Meets at East high school throughout the day.

GTA (Geek-Textbook Alliance): Although geeks appear like know-it-alls, they would not know anything if they didn’t read textbooks all day (or so my friends claim, it’s not like I would know or anything…). This club seeks to acknowledge the role textbooks play in making geeks appear smart.

Students Against Legal Parking: In an aim to express ultimate individuality, this club advocates for students to park their cars in a location and orientation that “unique and illegal at the same time.”

Anarchist Club: Without a club leader or any form of organization, this club’s claim to fame is being a source of chaos. Activities include creating riots and setting chairs on fire.

Conspiracy Club: A club dedicated to conspiracy theories and other useless distractions. Currently debating on whether the moon exists.

–Amol Rajesh

Categories: Satire

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