Satire

New AP Courses Everyone Should Take

Memorial High school’s AP courses offer a great opportunity to learn variety of subjects from math (AP Calculus), to martial arts (AP World), but there still remains entire subjects left unexplored by the AP system. The College Board, which makes the AP Exams, seeks to add a few AP classes that give a more holistic interpretation of high school student knowledge. Here are my reviews of the newest AP Courses.

AP Lunch: You are graded by how much you can eat on the day of the test. Bonus: You will not need to eat in college if you pass this exam.

AP Geology:This course is suited for those who prefer taking their AP Test inside a rock. Knowledge gained from this class could be extended to AP Rocks & Ropes.

AP Tree Climbing: In the age of modernity, students have forgotten the ancient tradition of tree climbing. Skills gained from this course could be employed while spying on your neighbor or hiding from the IRS.

AP Piracy Techniques: Learn the ways of elusively violating copyright laws and sailing a dinghy for use in “other activities”.

AP Interview Responses: A course where you learn the art of answering questions inefficiently and using big words to sound smart, when in reality you don’t understand what you are saying if your life depended on it.

AP Invented Languages: As our civilization advances, citizens will need to communicate in languages that could potentially become prevalent. This course prepares students for futuristic communication in Klingon, Dothraki and Spanglish.

AP Hostile Witness Skills: Learn the art of answering questions rudely, stalling and fabricating evidence during a court case. Bonus points can be earned for practicing improper court etiquette and gaining the attention of the bailiff.

AP Xtreme Activists: This course is designed for students who want to make a change in their community, but do not believe in the democratic process. You will learn the art of throwing a successful revolution through the works of Muammar Gaddafi and Robert Mugabe.

AP International Diplomacy: A course where you learn how to be a convincing liar, play sophisticated mind tricks, talk for long periods of time, and ultimately get nothing accomplished.

–Amol Rajesh

Categories: Satire

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