Satire

Famous Superlatives

High school yearbooks offer a chance for students to remember and relive their high school experiences through pictures, stories and of course: the most likely section. The most likely section has been an age-old staple of high school yearbooks worldwide. To account for the success of most likely section, I have carefully researched many prominent figures of the 20th century, and compared their legacy to their “most likely” in their high school yearbook

Kim Jong-Il: “Most Likely to Become a Genius”. This foreshadowing was proved mostly correct, with the North Korean government stating that he invented particle physics and wrote books that were “better than any other in the history of global literature”.

Joseph Stalin: “Most Likely to Become a Tax Collector”, he went above and beyond expectations by confiscating farmland, cars and almost anything under the sun during his years in power.

Pol Pot (Cambodian Dictator): “Most Likely to Overdose”, numerous critics say that he ruled as if he was on some sort of substance (then again, look at his name).

Idi Amin (Ugandan Dictator): “Most Likely to Cause a Scene”, whether it was his short temper or psychotic fantasies, even in high school he had a reputation of a clown.

Muammar Gaddafi: “Most Likely to Become a Professional Prankster”. Gaddafi lived up to expectations by overthrowing the Libyan monarchy in less than 3 hours in 1969.

Robert Mugabe: “Most Likely to Be A Professional Jaywalker”, his reputation and persistence in impeding traffic were among the main reasons why the British left Zimbabwe.

Fidel Castro: “Most Likely to Spend Nine Years on His Undergraduate Degree”, his peers in high school were surprisingly optimistic.

Dennis Rodman: “Most Likely to Evade Jury Duty”, why else would he travel to North Korea?

–Amol Rajesh

Categories: Satire

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